Moon in the morning,
for you and me both, the night
was not long enough.
OR
Moon in the morning,
the night, for you and me both,
was not long enough.
Not sure I like the last line of either, but i'm curious about which middle line strikes your fancy.
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2 comments:
I think I like the first version better. The second version seems more choppy to me. What if the first line were ended, like:
Moon in the morning.
For you and me both, the night
was not long enough.
Can you tell I am not a poet?
Good feedback. I like the period better. Thanks for the comment. :-)
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